Sexy Time for Moms and Dads: 5 Ways to Find Time to Get Frisky: Nᵒ1 Secrets of the Sexually Empowered

Spoiler alert: Mark your calendar and have someone else focus on your kids.

1. Prioritze by planning

Spontaneity is hot, but if your intimacy gets sidetracked, schedule time on the calendar. Realize this isn’t a cop out. It’s reality. While you may be resistent, here’s the deal: Setting a date for intimacy is no differnet than planning anything else in life: dinner, concert, bike ride, picnic, etc. It’s simply letting you know where to be and when. What’s spontaneous is how the time together unfolds. Are you only going to kiss and cuddle, or are you going to get it on like when you first met? Show up and find out.

2. Focus on each other rather than errands, TV and sleep

Your routine, talking about what’s going on with your kids, to-dos and tech distractions are likely not going to bring you together in an fulfilling way. Set groundrules. Your intimate time together is to connect emotionally, spiritually and physically in whatever ways feel good. This is about the two of you, your relationship and connection. 

3. Have someone else focus on your kids

Often, we don’t realize how much we need couple time and how little we get until the opportunity to get away “forces” us to be in the moment and enjoy each other. There isn’t a one size fits all answer. That being said, decide if you want to be at home or go out. If you want to be home, set up a drop-off playdate. Or have a nanny, sitter or friend take your kids out for a few hours. If you want to get away for a longer period of time, arrange for someone to stay with your kids so as not to disrupt their schedule. Then, take a road trip or grab your passport and go somewhere more romantic or exotic.

4. Whether you have an hour or days...see where it leads

  • Lay around naked, enjoy the warmth of each other’s body

  • Shower together

  • Take an afternoon “nap” snuggling with each other

  • Have a mid-day romp in your favorite spot out of bed

  • Cook together

  • Have a food or alcohol tasting: wine, sake, whisky, chocolate, your favorite desserts

  • Order new sex toys or other erotic props to enjoy together

  • Share or create a fantasy

5. Boost your dopamine

Activate the chemical cocktail in your body that once gave you butterflies when you first met. Doing something novel together can recreate this feeling.

  • Take a class together to learn something new (cooking, art, etc)

  • Do something on your bucket list

  • Explore somewhere you’ve never been

  • Do something that encourages you to move your bodies that can stir up any stagnation (dance, exercise, etc) and then get it on - as your body will be more open to pleasure

  • Go to your favorite place that you haven’t been in a while

  • Get a hotel room or find a cool airbnb that turns you on aesthetically

  • Discover a public location to get it on that won’t get you arrested

Unleash even more pleasure and connection. Check out my mp3 and workbook: The Keys to Desire & The Art of Satisfaction

Amy Levine