What Maintenance Sex Is So Important In Happy Marriages: Nᵒ15 Secrets of the Sexually Empowered
There are many reasons why sex is important in a relationship. For many people this includes physical and emotional intimacy. Communicating your wants, needs and desires to each other is also imperative. During sex, various hormones are released including dopamine and oxytocin that foster bonding. Ultimately, making married couples happier.
Like anything in life, when relationships aren’t nourished they can wither, breakdown or flatline. More often than not, it seems that during long-term relationships or marriage, sexual intimacy can feel monotonous and dwindle as time goes on. However, we must never lose sight that connection is healthy and essential. For this reason, someone decided one solution is maintenance sex, and put this concept out into the world.
Here are some reasons why sex is important in a relationship and what to do about it:
What is maintenance sex?
Maintenance sex is intimacy that takes care of business on the most basic level to keep one or both people sexually satisfied. Here’s the rub, it’s having sex when you’re not necessarily in the mood. This stirs up different emotions in many people, as it sounds like something that’s forced. So, how do you turn a “solution” for connection into something that’s sexually empowering? First, you both need to consent and want to get it on with each other at the same time. Please repeat this: if it’s not 100% clear—you both need to consent and want to get it on with each other at the same time. Second, renaming it to “connection time” or something positive that resonates for both of you is a good start. Third, there are many ways to be intimate and feel connected whether it’s outercourse, fooling around or having intercourse. In reality, if you’re needing this “connection time,” something is likely disconnected in your intimate life that needs to be understood.
Why the need for maintenance sex?
One of the common reasons among couples is they may have mismatched libidos—one partner having a higher sex drive than the other. For some couples this can lead to infrequent sexual contact. Other times, it can lead to sexless marriages. Generally, there are other issues causing a sex rut in these situatons. It could be due to stress, performance anxiety or resentment. However, for a couple that can acknowledge the elephant in the room, communicate about how they feel and take action to move their relationship forward, this “connection time” is a way to get back on track.
Sex Fosters Intimacy
Spending all their time together can often cause couples to get into a mindless routine having a detrimental effect on sex life. It is important to remember that sexual intimacy is a vital part of a relationship, triggering all sorts of feel good chemicals which can increase your affection towards your partner.
It’s a Stress-buster
It's a scientific fact that sex can help to reduce stress, releasing hormones such as serotonin and oxytocin. These hormones can even help to reduce physical pain and sometimes migraines. So next time you're reaching for Paracetamol, maybe all you need is a good sex session!
Sex Builds a Deeper Level of Communication
Sex is not purely physical, it also creates a deeper level of communication
Sex is a Great Workout
Sex is a great workout and is equivalent to other forms of moderate physical activity (and often a much more fun way to burn calories).
Sex Builds Better Self- esteem
Sex is important to feel great about yourself. Everyone knows when you know someone feels a sexual attraction towards you it can be a great confidence boost, but on top of this, the chemicals released into your body post sex can improve your emotional health for the rest of the day.
Sex Has Plenty of Physical Benefits
Sex has many physical benefits like improving bladder control, easing pain, contributing to a lower blood pressure and improving heart health. Increasing sexual activity has also been shown to have a positive effect on immune function.
Sex Has Plenty of Psychological Benefits
Sex increases the quality of your life. Sex can reduce stress and anxiety.
Sex is a Celebration
The frequency of sex is not all that matters; it’s the quality. Sexual encounters with your partner should be enjoyable, make sure you're still in tune with what your partner likes. Sexual attraction can really boost relationship satisfaction.
Get out of your rut
It can feel awkward at first if it’s been a while. Hopefully, soon enough you’ll experience connection and pleasure, and your relationship will reap the rewards. Trying these tips can not only energize your marriage, it can help you go from ho-hum to oh!
Revamp your bedroom
Make a few small changes that can create a sexual haven. Move photos of your parents and kids off your nightstands, find another room for your desk and your bills, get new sheets that feel luxurious.
Comfortably compromise
Together come up with a list of fun and sexy things each of you is wanting or craving that you feel comfortable engaging in and choose something to try.
Experiment with new toys
Shop online together and order something fun to use in bed.
Ditch your technology
Keep your technology far away from where you’re getting it on so you can focus on each other without distraction.
Invite intimacy into other aspects of your relationship
Spend time together out of bed. Cuddle on the couch, hold hands when you walk the dog, have a date night, try a new activity you’ve always talked about that you never actually tried (skydiving, taking a road trip, etc.)
Maximize sexual satisfaction
If the person with the penis has premature ejaculation, or if the person with the vulva/vagina has an elusive orgasm, do a workaround. Do something (oral sex, clitoral vibrator, etc) that’s more likely to give pleasure even if it’s after the main event.
Maintenance sex by definition may not resonate with you. Simply remembering to rename it starts the conversation toward a mutual goal of connection. When this happens, and you take action with some level of physical intimacy, your marital satisfaction in life and in bed can truly be enhanced.